Peace
by EllieRose101
Summary: Zoe is still coming to terms with the death of her husband. The process is made a little easier by the fact that he's left a piece of himself behind…
1. One

_Author Note:_ this is set about two months after the end of the movie.

* * *

One

Walking into Zoe's quarters without permission, Mal asked her, "Just what is that?"

She didn't reply, just tried to hide the test, before realizing it was pointless and holding it out to the captain. He knew exactly what it was before he asked. It was the reason he came to see her.

Pulling a face, he held up his hands and exclaimed, "I ain't touching it."

"You're such a baby!" Zoe exclaimed.

The captain raised his eyebrows at her poor choice of words and waited for his first mate's real reaction to hit.

"Oh, god," she said, tossing the test into the corner and covering her face.

After a few moments of silence, Mal asked her, "Were you trying?"

She nodded.

"Did Wash know that?"

She glared.

"It's just," the captain continued, "I seem to recall a month long argument all across my boat about how all our lives were too dangerous to involve children."

"He wanted them, if our lives had been different."

"And you wanted them either way."

Zoe shook her head slightly and wiped her hand across her forehead. "Why did I think this was a good idea?"

Mal shrugged and said simply, "You were in love. Guess it's natural."

Not letting him have the high ground a moment longer Zoe then turned the conversation around. "Speaking of love…" she began.

The captain immediately began to back away. "Good talkin' to you," he said, while stumbling at the base of the ladder.

"How are you and Inara getting along these days?" Zoe continued to press. "Between you two and Simon and Kaylee this place is almost romantic."

"Yeah, an' Jayne and his hand. Goodnight, Zoe!"

She smiled at her boss' getaway, then rubbed her still flat belly and said, "You're gonna have _quite_ the time growing up here."


	2. Two

_Author Note:_ this fic was supposed to be a one-shot, but then, of course, inspiration hit, and I found myself needing to add to it. This bit is set almost six years after the end of the movie. I don't intend to write any more chapters, but I'll guess we'll see what my muse has to say about that…

* * *

Two

Taking a deep breath, and tightly clutching her most prized possessions to her chest, Zoe turned around and strode confidently into her son's quarters. She smiled at the sight of him play fighter pilot on his console.

_Just like his father_, she thought, wistfully. It was the biggest compliment she could ever bestow upon him. Another deep breath.

"Hoban?"

Not looking up, he answered, "Yeah, Mom?"

She knelt down beside him. "Hoban, can you turn that off, please?"

"Aww, Mom, do I have to? I'm winning."

Zoe didn't answer, knowing she didn't need to. After a few moments more of Hoban carrying on playing he gave up trying to ignore her and pressed the power button. He turned to face her.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, sweetie. Now, I know your birthday is still a few months away, but-"

He cocked an eyebrow at her, giving her pause.

"What?"

"Why is it I always get presents four months before my birthday?"

_He noticed. Of course he did. Clever boy, just like…_

Zoe swallowed. It was time.

"You remember all those stories Uncle Mal used to tell you?"

"About my dad? Sure. He seemed like a cool guy."

Zoe smiled again, but it was bittersweet. It took a lot of effort for her mouth not to cave in on itself, and for her not to give way to tears.

"Your father was an amazing man," she forced herself to say.

Hoban frowned. "Mom, why do you never talk about him?"

_Because it hurts. Because I miss him. Because if I think about him too much I won't be able to carry on. _

"Because it hurts," she admitted. When Hoban's frown only deepened she reached out and ran a hand through his hair with a promise of, "You'll understand one day."

He nodded, then his eyes finally landed on the items she was holding.

"Are they for me?" he asked.

"Yes."

He hesitated slightly with the next question, but eventually let it loose.

"Were they his?"

Zoe could only nod that time. It took every bit of strength in her body to hold out her arms and hand her husband's beloved toy dinosaurs over to her boy.

"Take good care of them," she instructed.

"I will, Mom. These are awesome!" he exclaimed in return, before getting up to go play with them elsewhere.

The moment he was gone from the room Zoe felt herself begin to break down, but suddenly Hoban was back in the doorway, looking at her. She wiped at the tears in her eyes roughly. She'd vowed long ago never to cry in front of him. Never to let him know how having him in her life gave her meaning, but also the harshest sorrow.

"What is it, sweetie?" she asked, when he was still stood there moments later, silently watching her.

Hoban bravely walked back into the room, handed one of the dinosaurs back to his mom, and then threw his arms around her – still with a toy in each hand.

"I think dad still misses you too," he said into her hair. "You can keep this one, to watch over you."

Zoe couldn't respond any more. Nor could she hold back her tears. She just held her son tighter and thought to herself:

_My boy is so loving, and he looks out for me, even when I hide my feelings. He can see straight through me, just like his father._

The End

* * *

_Chapter End Notes _

If you're anything like me, you'll be a puddle of emotion right now. I'm only partly sorry.

The timeline I'm going with it this: Zoe got pregnant one month before the movie is set, meaning she was one month gone (roughly) when Wash died. She found out two months after that (in chapter one), when she was therefore three months into the pregnancy. Hoban was born eight months after his dad's death, meaning he was four months old when the first anniversary rolled around, and the anniversary therefore falls four months before each of the boy's subsequent birthdays.

P.S. Did you catch the significance of the boy's name?


End file.
